So many loved ones have gone on before him. Grandparents and parents, a daughter, in-laws, aunts, uncles, cousins, dear friends. Yet so many left behind here to miss him incredibly. I simply cannot imagine life without this man, who has been my soul mate, my best friend, truly my other half. I will go on, putting one foot in front of the other, simply because that is what he has asked me to do.

Thank God for hospice care, which allowed us both to cope with the terrifying last days; and for family and friends who were always there when needed. Thank God, too, for the stamina He gave me, to be able to care for Bobby at home; as home is where he loved to live and wished to die. He has been my caregiver for so long, and so unselfishly, that it was an honor and a pleasure to be able to return just a small measure of that to him.

Bobby affected so many lives, so profoundly … and yet he never thought he had anything “special” to give. He was totally honest, and expected the same from those around him. He was in no way a pushover, nor could anyone fool him for long, yet he was understanding of the foibles of others, and had the tenderest heart I have ever encountered.

He was born July 8th, 1941, in San Diego, California to Loyd B and Harriette Swycaffer. He was blest with a father who made him a working part of the ranch from day one, and a schoolteacher mom whose greatest lesson to the world was that of unconditional love. This she taught by giving it, and by living it.

He grew up there on the family ranch with sisters Mary Alyce, Ardella, and Charlotte. He is survived by those sisters; a loving wife (myself); son Christopher Loyd; daughters Maria Elena, Alicia Ann, Diana Lynn, and Susan Denise; stepdaughters Michelle Lee and Donna Marie; grandchildren Jay, Steffi, Dale Robert, Steven, Jesse, Carol Jean, and Matthew; and twin great-granddaughters Hailey and Hannah. He was preceded in death by daughter Analee Marie.

He spent most of his life on the seat of a tractor. He was happiest when farming, but when we ran out of money (frequently!) he ran heavy equipment to put us back on our feet. Whether farming, building roads and house pads, or fighting fires, he was a true master of all manner of tractors.

I now wear his wedding band on my left index finger. Originally it was set with gold nuggets, to match my rings. He said the nuggets were for the rough times. I always told him I deserved more nuggets! But over the years as he toiled to support the family he loved so, his ring has worn completely smooth. I was showing this to my friend Arlene, and she said, “Isn’t that a lovely analogy of his life. You work your way through all the rough spots, and in the end, you’re shiny and as smooth as silk.” That sort of says it all, doesn’t it?

And so, dear husband, friend, and lover Bob, I bid adieu to your earthly body, but know that you continue to walk beside me; to reassure and to guide me. It’s just that your steps are no longer painful and your breathing no longer labored. You are free of terrestrial ties and woes, and until we walk again together on the other side I will hold you in my heart. I love you forever and a day.